THE TOBOGGAN

Monday, January 28, 2013

Jack Spotted at the Pearson International Airport

It's true, Jack is on his way. After a brief trip to Yorkdale mall he has made his way to the airport. He'll arrive in Amsterdam in the morning, lookin' for work. If ya know of anything let me know. The axe is always sharp.

Friday, January 11, 2013

TIPS ON SURVIVING CANADA

FOLLOW THE PLOW

I've always heard terms like "follow your nose" or "take the path of least resistance" but up here in Canada I like to use the term "follow the plow". Hell what else are you going to do when you can't see your arse in front of your face. Tuck in behind the plow an enjoy the white out.

STANDING ON GUARD

JACK PINE was born in Moose Factory, northern Ontario. A typical Canadian setting right on the Moose River. Mosquito's, black fly's, bears, you get the picture. It's a cold place 11 months of the year and unbearably hot in the summer. Every morning Jack goes down to the river, ties his horse to an evergreen tree and paddles a canoe to his post. It is here that JACK PINE spends the day standing on guard for thee. During the winter months Jack skates to work playing hockey along the way. Out here we survive the long winters on maple syrup, cheddar cheese and bacon. People around these parts call JACK PINE "Horsefly" because you never know who he'll show up to bite next. Watch for sightings of this Canadian frontiersman he turns up in all the strangest places and usually lands himself in the penalty box.